ANDRE'S REVENGE DAY 15- The Disco Ball is Always Turning

[Bunny Berry]

Today I added spirulina to my blackberry smoothie, and drank down something that looked like a black tar soup for breakfast. It didn't taste bad, but just the color was off-putting, and set the tone for my day.

I didn't sleep well last night, so I went back to bed after Beckett left for school, and had a nightmare that I was kidnapped and tortured by some maniac. I escaped, and found the police station in my dreams, and while I was standing there tattered and bloody, with my teeth falling out on her desk, the clerk behind the counter was giving me attitude about not having filled out the right paperwork to file a report. I think I've been spending too much time at the unemployment office.

I shook it off, and changed my attitude because HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE, and had a productive day, working on a design project, updating my portfolio site, making a coffee date with a dear old friend, and gabbing on the phone with a recruiter.

I love being a creative person. My visions of grandeur can sometimes carry me through dark times and make me come out on the other side laughing. I do have them, you know. Vision of grandeur. I see myself larger than life, capable, worthy, beautiful. There is beauty all around us. And love is everywhere. Sometimes I imagine myself in the middle of a dance floor, but instead of balloons falling from the rafters, I imagine little bubbles of love falling all around me, surrounding me, until the room is so full of love that it can't hold another drop.

Rejection has been a constant hurdle in my daily life so far during this challenge. But my relationship with food has changed. I am not trying to fill the void of the rejection with food. I'm not using food as my friend, my companion, my comforter. I'm using food as the fuel to keep my heart light, and to make sure the disco ball is always turning on my imaginary dance floor of love.

HOW IS YOUR DAY 15 GOING?

[Littlewolf]

It could be the cacoa..its a very odd super food....seems to cause stress in some peoples systems, and this could be coming out in dreams if you liver or other orgns are over stimulated......just a thought...keep and eye on it.

You so right though re choice..you can either go about all down or you can make an effort and shake it off..which you did....we all have choice.

As for me, i have finally shook off the flu..it was a belter a real grade A influenza..with complications..taken me nearly 3 weeks to recover...hope no one lese has had to go through a bout of it..it was NASTY.

I have a really crappy job...I am a graduate, I have had really good jobs previously beform the recession, but now all I could find was a sale asst job in a shop...not my cup of tea at all...but I am still trying to be positive and I am apply for other work etc..never give up till ya dead is what my gran dad would say...

[heathers_sea]

I'll have to try that Jason stuff; my hands look like my skin is falling off due to too much handwashing. I work in health care so I wash my hands alot on a good day. We've had a GI outbreak the last 2 weeks (which I've avoided, touch wood) so my skin is wearing away from hyper-handwashing.
Wendilou said:

I didn't plan my meals well today and went much too long without eating. But I did manage to hold out until I got home. I got to go to Whole Foods today to restock the fridge: apples, tomatoes, sprouts, scallions, lemons, cauliflower, kale, chives, dates, GT Gingerade Kombucha, carrots, and pumpkins seeds. And Tazo tea was on sale, so I got 5 boxes of Refresh herbal tea (:peppermint, spearmint and tarragon). I like to keep a pitcher of it in the fridge.

I also managed to find some unscented organic lotion without shea butter, sesame seed oil, almond oil, coconut oil or hemp seed--you should try it--it's not so easy! It is JASON Fragrance Free Hand & Body Lotion. It's very nice. I had to get fragrance free because one of my professors is allergic to fragrances. In his microbiology class we have to wash our hands a lot. My hands are already chapped from the weather, and I just HAD to find something I could use around him.

I also found some safe lip balm for my paper bark tree lips: Badger brand. It only has 3 things: evoo, beeswax and castor oil (all certified organic).

[Sheila Murrey]

You're post sure hit a nerve with me Bunny. In fact, you almost brought tears to my eyes, not just for the dream you had (I've had those kind too) but for the unemployment situation, and how though you visualize so well, putting yourself in the best of situation and light, you still have this "stuff" to deal with like the current unemployment situation and the dreams, rejection, etc.

I too have had nightmarish stuff going on with unemployment. Though there is not unemployment office for me to go to in person (that I know of or anyone's been able to tell me) and I've written all the way up the government ladder to my Florida Senator's office! (They responded and said they had the same experience, not being able to get hold of a real person on the unemployment office phone number, etc. they took my SSN and said they'd get back to me - that was two weeks ago now and no response yet). At any rate, I've been laid off since October '08 and not a penny from them yet. I've done EVERYTHING they've asked me to do and nothing. I complained and instead of a reply in 3-5 days as their website states, three weeks later they emailed and just said I had to reapply. I've done that now the wait continues. I'm ready to call channel 9 news or other news outlets now to see what can be done. Is anyone else experiencing this problem? Thank God we do not have kids to feed and my husband is still working. If he wasn't I wouldn't be posting this right now as we wouldn't have electricity much less cable internet.

As for my dreams, I try to forget them as soon as I wake up. I meditate, do a bit of exercise, and get immediately involved in my job search, blogging and all other manner of computer work that I do, post for freelance work, etc. always honing my skills.

After I finished my bachelors degree in Oct. '04 I never thought I'd have to face unemployment again, boy was I wrong!

I make no excuses, I hate being a victim so I push forward doing everything I know to do. I am ready to stand out on the side of the highway holding a "work wanted" sign. People tell me not to but that's what I want to do. I refuse to let this stuff get me down. And that's another reason I love this food challenge right now. I keep trying new recipes in our Vita-Mix and so far I've had pretty good success with it.

I did break down and have a 1/2 C of lightly cooked pasta tonight but so far, I've been drinking 2-3 raw veggie, or fruit, or veggie/fruit smoothies everyday and only snacking lightly on some raw mixed nuts. I've made soup in the Vita-Mix too and I never "cook" it too much so I think I'm still within the confines of "raw". When it just starts to steam in 3-4 minutes I shut it off.

I will be posting some of the recipes I've been enjoying, that I've made up, on my RawFu page.

Happiness is definitely a choice. So is love.

Namaste,
sheila

[Elaine]

Love bubbles! I will keep this image close - it's fantastic. Way to turn around your funk!

I am having a hard time letting go of my after dinner snacks and sugar. Each week of this challenge I've upped the ante - having started with a daily green smoothie and a salad, then a halved my coffee consumption and cut out refined sugars. This week I decided to add something to my life instead of eliminate - so I'm focusing on sleep. But the sugar monkey haunts me something fierce. I stare at the kitchen walls craving something, even when I'm full! So far - staying busy works best. I've also been working out a bit more - so maybe I'm just not eating enough throughout the day?

[artsygirl]

Wow Bunny, I appreciate the honesty. I used to have dreams about my teeth falling out when I was in college. From what I've read it is supposedly a symbol of you feeling a loss of control. I can sympathize, because unemployment is definitely on at least some level, a loss of control.

I hear you on the right brain getting you through. Maybe this is a dark day before the light? I am reading a book called Simple Abundance now. It really helps me be grateful for the little stuff. I recommend it. I also recommend anything else by the author, well at least, my aunt does! Google it & get a used copy. ;)

Keep being creative & love filled no matter what is thrown at you.

[MelissaO]

I am sorry that you are having nightmares:-( For me I have weird dreams when I am stressed out sometimes.
This job market is just terrible. I have been unemployeed since November as well. I have tried for seasonal work during the holidays, partime, contract work pretty much anything and have been rejected - it really stinks!
I really hate going to the grocery store and not being able to get something food wise because it cost too much this time around, hopefully better times are soon to come.

My Day:
I am having issues with wanting to eat late at night and it is making me mad. I am not hungry during the day and then after 6:00 pm I start getting hungry. Other than that things are going ok. Most of my days have been 100% raw and I have been working out 5 days a week which helps so much with the stress.

[Lisa]

Cool picture of you Bunny. I guess you didn't get that job you were interviewing for awhile back? I haven't been on rawfu as much, and have missed some of your updates....but I sure do appreciate you and your creativity, and this wonderful community that you started for us all, Thank you!

[Melissa]

I am so proud of you. Having your visions of grandeur, choosing happiness, and experiencing the empowerment of a new relationship with food. I know sometimes "your" world might not look that great through your eyes. But sweetie, I am watching a masterpiece unfold. You are so amazing. I Love You!!!

[amysue]

I love your final statement, and the bubble imagery! Food is fuel! Wishing you sleep.

[Mermie]

~ My relationship with food has changed. I am not trying to fill the void of the rejection with food. I'm not using food as my friend, my companion, my comforter. I'm using food as the fuel to keep my heart light, and to make sure the disco ball is always turning on my imaginary dance floor of love. ~

I love this.

Food wise, my day was great.
Coworker wore a ass hat today, so I wrote a note, left early, and went to the gym.
Just *might* call in sick tomorrow.

That is why your post struck a chord with me.
After the incident I wanted to eat crappy, but I didn't. ;)
x

[Meredith]

So....beautifully....put......Dear Bunny. Such a lovely image. Such beautiful choices we can make and ARE making for ourselves, thanks to you and this incredible community. Much love to you as I take the love bubble image and go off to bed.

Nighty-night and sweet dreams!

[OregonShout.com]

Bunny Writes:::HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE


Generally I am busy with reading, and writing etc...But today I received your message and it gave me a breath of fresh air.
Being a moderator on my own groups is taxing to say the least.
I guess I should say Moments earlier I was trying to console another who wished he were dead...Then I opened your letter and said,...I have to take the time to say Thank you.
On My page is a free PDF~E-book ~~~RE: healing and dealing with rejection, so It is very good to read an over-comer story...
The journey is sometimes very long to heal the heart from anger, bitterness and pain of rejection, let alone the unspeakable one molestation.{ chapter ten= a woman's testimony of healing from 39 years of pain}

Keep up the encouragement

Shalom...