Before tomorrow's challenge starts, I want to know. Why are you here?

[Bunny Berry]

WHY? Why are you here? Why are you interested in committing to 100 days of raw food? Man, I am so fired up about this next challenge, and we are going to dig into some stuff that isn't all feel-good and topsy turvy. We're going to deal with some issues. We're going to dig in and see if you've really got what it takes to commit to making one small change in your life. A salad a day or a round of juicing. Why are you here?

I had a very emotional and soul searching weekend around this question. Why am I here? I've spent the last year transitioning to a raw food diet, met so many people, learned a lot, seen a lot, and now it's time for me to start asking the tough questions. It's time for me to get real with myself.

I've been a poser so many times during the last 3 challenges, encouraging people on, and then eating pizza, knowing that you'd all support and behind me. What a crock of crap.

I'm here because (start Fame soundtrack here): I wanna live forever! I wanna learn how to fligh....HIGH!

No, seriously, I'm here because I'm sick. Metabolic Syndrome, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, Won't Get off My Butt Syndrome. And I can either be a giant hypocrite like 99% of standard americans and buy into the pill for every ill therapy, and faithfully take a cholesterol pill, a blood sugar pill, an anti-depressant, and a sleeping pill because that's what my doctor says will make me feel better. Or I can get off my butt and heal myself the Hippocrates Way. There is no in between. I have to make a decision to poop or get off the pot.

By the way, lately I've been taking the pooping route. In fact, I've been drinking so much carrot juice, I actually pooped something out that looked exactly like a carrot. It was awesome.

You are where you are. If you're still transitioning, learning, adapting, doing the best you can, then you're going to learn a lot more during this challenge. We're all suffering from a long bout of food poisoning, and it's time to start doing some serious healing.

If you're only here for weight loss, you can't complain if your body decided that something that is going on inside has to be fixed before you lose weight. If you're sneaking ice cream or mexican food on the side, you can't complain because you're still experiencing IBS. No perfect people, but also no whiners allowed in this challenge. When you fall, we'll be there to pick you up. But not just by saying, Oh it's okay, you can poison your body every once in a while, we're all human. No, we're going to help you find out why this pattern keeps happening in your journey and help you overcome.

We'll have fun. There will be hilarity. But this challenge is going to be work.

Why are you here? Are you ready to heal?

[Summer Gates]

I'm here because I need all the support I can get. I started eating raw about 2 1/2 months ago, but I still want cooked food. Even though I eat a smoothie or two a day...eat tons of salad, fruits, nuts and veggies; have lost 20 lbs. already, I sleep better, feel better and look better, I still get the urge for cooked food...ugh! Help!

[VeroGirl]

Hey Summer,
Ditto for me - as great and healing the raw foods, fruits and vegies are, I still get cravings also - all the time. That's what we're here for - to help each other when that temptation strikes. Just take it one days at a time - everyday I say to myself, "this is my first day". If I make it more than today, it gets too overwhelming and I fail. So good luck to you - all of us together CAN DO THIS!!!
XOXO
VeroGirl

[Raw Explorer]

I'm here because I have had trouble staying 100% raw for more than about 5 months at a stretch. This last time I fell from raw I went all the way back to SAD for 2 months. I went back to high raw, and now am going 100% 80/10/10 Raw Vegan! When I heard about Raw Fu and the Challenges, I figured this was a perfect match. I could use a challenge like that to keep myself 100$ 811rv for 100 days, and enjoy the benefits along the way.

[Rawbin]

I want to be here because I don't like crying when my favorite jeans won't zip.
I want to be here because there are friends who will inspire me to be as healthy as I can be.
I want to be here because I know if I fall, there will be someone here to pull me up, dust off my butt, and point me in the right direction!

[Allison]

I'm here because I'm ready to take responsibility for my choices. I'm doing this for myself, in every moment; not for anyone else...but benefiting everyone at the same time.

I know that learning about raw food and practicing by a salad a day, more fruits, less refined sugars, and just eating smaller amounts in general that I'll be happier, more confident, and more enjoyable to be around.

I'm ready to meet the girl deep inside hidden under the layers of old habits, emotional baggage, negativity, and guilt. I'm ready to not live in fear and get rid of that drill sergeant voice in my head! I'm ready to practice kindness and positive reinforcement in my food and exercise choices.

I'm ready to encourage others, learn exciting new recipes, and have a helping hand now and then in what this looks to be an awesome community.

I'm ready to live.

[Mary]

I'm here because the more I interact with awesome raw people, the more excited I get about eating awesome raw food! Yay! :D

[Peter Love]

I am here to be as healthy as I can possibly be, and that's via the raw food lifestyle. I know that the SAD diet, with all of its poisons is not the way to achieve that goal. While I don't need to lose weight, I do need to get in better shape mentally, physically and spiritually, like the Trinity; three persons unified in one. I want to eliminate these toxins from my body. The only way to reach that goal is by eating live foods. Not dead and processed foods.

I want to increase my energy, motivation, physical and recreational activities, mental clarity, self-esteem, etc. In the end, I want to write a song about this, that is, the results ending on a positive note. A musical note that is. LOL! So, I am in this with everyone else. Good luck to all.

With love,
Peter Love

[Jenny]

I'm here because I am an 18 year breast cancer survivor who is wanting to continue to remain cancer free. I was an ovo-lacto vegetarian (mostly cooked foods at that!!) at the time of diagnosis, and over the course of 18 years, I have been led to committing to a mostly raw diet. I am here to refine that. I need to go further....such as juicing and sprouting which I have only done intermittantly. Feel as if I have emotional eating challenges in my life , too, which I would like to work on and am doing so with a book called Thin Again. But I really need the support of a raw community as I don't have one single raw person in my life. Am so looking forward to a huge blessing by being a part of this group so dedicated to good health and camaraderie

Love to all,

Jenny

[chasmyn]

Oh, Bunny. You have said it ALL so perfectly! See? THIS is why we're here, because we have YOU to speak up and say what many of us might be thinking and feeling but cannot articulate as well.

I have Won't Get off My Butt Syndrome. I also have Feels a Compulsive Need to Sabotage Myself Syndrome. I think the former is just a symptom of the latter, to be honest. I am deeply seeking to find out why, as soon as I see that I have made some progress (lost inches, released weight), I feel the need to go and eat something cooked, or stop doing Tai Chi, or "forget" to use my elliptical machine. Or get too busy.

I mean, I'm pretty sure I really really DO want to release about 125 pounds. I FEEL like I want it with all of my heart and soul. And yet, my actions are hardly reflective of that, are they? Am I on my elliptical every day? Am I doing Tai Chi every day? Am I eating at least 95% raw EVERY day? Do I still weigh 125 pounds more than I want to?

so, yeah. apparently there is SOMETHING in my subconscious that disagrees with what I believe I want and thinks I want something else. Because I notice that when I am reaching for that cooked thing, that "convenience" food, it is as if someone else is moving my body at the time. It is as if it is automatic, and even though I am consciously screaming in my head for my hand NOt to put that thing into my mouth, it happens anyway. And dammit, I am DETERMINED to find out WHY and to reverse that compulsion. THAT is my goal - that and just loving and caring for myself.

I feel like it shouldn't matter that the other two members of my household eat and therefore have cooked and processed organic stuff around the house - that doesn't need to mean anything to me - as someone once said in a thread here, it doesn't have to be FOOD to me - it can be THEIR food and not mine. Can't it? Can't I reconcile that my son is able to eat foods that I won't consider food for myself?

Sometimes I get so frustrated I don't even bother to try and plan any meals, and that is always always when I resort to cooked "convenience" foods, too - when I haven't planned meals, and I've eaten salads and smoothies and juices so much that it just feels so boring to me, and I get too hungry, and then I make poor food choices. Here I am getting colonics and then in between eating foods like turkey hot dogs (no nitrates) and french fries (but not in the same meal). And when I eat those things, it's not really like I get particular enjoyment from them, either. It's just something "quick" that I can shove into my mouth to ease the hunger. And every time I eat one of those foods, there is guilt and shame and self-deprecation.

Something needs to change. I don't want to do this to myself. I want to LOVE myself and to show it through my actions - by feeding my body foods that support and sustain it. By exercising it. By NOT identifying myself as my body - how on earth do I let go of being body identified? I am SO rooted in that - in thinking of myself as my body. I am NOT my body!

I was also noticing that I focus on what I am NOT doing rather than focusing on what I AM doing. If I am 90% raw in a day, I focus on that little 10% that I am NOT. If I do 20 minutes of Tai Chi, I focus on that I have NOT done my elliptical. I am the QUEEN of self-deprecation. I believe I can find a way to blame myself for ANYTHING in this world - I am THAT creative. I have an AMAZING capacity for guilt.

I also realized that when other neighbours ask me how long I've been doing raw, I am embarrassed to tell them that it's been just over a year now, because WHERE ARE THE RESULTS?!? I'm still just as fat as when I started. I mean, I HAVE results, but only I am aware of them - people cannot see them by looking at me. I am always very quick to qualify with," I don't eat ALL raw, I still eat some cooked food," to make sure they know why I am still so fat. I'll tell them the percentage of raw food I eat (between 75-90%) and they're always so impressed and complimenting me and giving me encouragement. And then I cannot hear any of it because in my head what is going on is all of my shame and guilt and how poorly I am doing and how fat I still am. I've even been doing the Work on this with the help of the wonderfully giving Larry (here on RawFu), and STILL I have this body identification, where I cannot disengage from my body long enough to even be able to look at it HYPOTHETICALLY without the thought, "*I* am too fat".

Whoa, I had no idea I was going to write an essay. The question was why am I here. Well, this is why. I need the support and the love. I need to keep letting MYSELF know that I am worth this, that I can do this, that no matter how much I eff it up I can just keep going. I am eternally heartened by the stories from people that go, "It took me _x_ number of years before I finally managed to be 100% raw." I LOVE those people, because they are fallible and human, like me. I am amazed by folks who managed to do 100% raw right away - although I cannot help notice that most of them were single without other people living in their homes eating cooked food. And were any of them nursing still? lol

Perhaps I expect WAY too much of myself (I just heard Byron Katie in my head saying, "I would drop the 'perhaps'." lol

So my goal this time is just to keep on loving myself, no matter what. I just realized that just as I typed it, and do you know what? It is the BEST goal for me, it even brings tears to my eyes.

What would that even look like? Wow.


So my goal this time is just to keep on loving myself, no matter what.

[chasmyn]

YES!!!!!!!!! ME TOO!!!!!!

Wendilou said:

I'm here because I don't want to be trapped in this fat anymore.
I'm here because I want to feel free and joyous and USE my body! I can only do that if I give it clean, raw, nutritious fruits and veg.
I'm here because I want to be able to be the REAL ME.
I want to surf and climb and jump and laugh! It's a lot harder, if not impossible, to do those things with 100 extra pounds on my body.
I want to understand what is holding me back--why do I keep making the choice to sabotage my progress? How do I stop it?
I'm here because I want to surround myself with people who I want to emulate.
I'm here because I know other people have walked the path I am on and have succeeded.
I'm here because I love you guys! ;)

[chasmyn]

I love that!

And as I am reading everyone's responses, I am realizing that I share so many reasons with so many of you - so rather than quote ALL of the ones I relate to and make this thread like 26 pages long, I'll just say that I relate to so so many of you here, and I feel so so wonderful to see that all of us share the same goal, really.

Sarah said:

I heard something yesterday, there is no raw food movement, without movement.

[nycgrrl]

I am here because I've done the raw thing before, for about 6 months, and I loved it. I stopped as winter approached here in nyc, and because I was trying to do 80/20 but wasn't eating enough, and was losing weight, energy and hair! This time around, I will be easier on myself and allow some fats so that I can assure enough calories! I also won't beat myself up over small indiscretions now and again. I felt GREAT for the most part on the raw food diet--higher energy, no need for naps, ability to run further.

I'm back!