Day 16- ARE YOU A BLOCKER? FREE YOUR MIND

[Bunny Berry]

Are you a blocker? You may be a blocker and not even realize it. I know that you KNOW some blockers.
Until we open our minds and stop blocking and making it so hard on ourselves to succeed in every part of our lives, then we're going to tend to see life as a constant struggle.

It's not my job. It's not my mess. It's not my problem.

Free your mind, jedi. The rest will follow.

And because I know I just put an earworm in your ear...

[astrorainfall]

Hmm... interesting way to do some self-examination. I try to be positive and flexible mostly but yes sometimes I block. Particularly when my boyfriend (we are business partners) makes a suggestion in a bossy tone (to him it's matter-of-fact, to me it's bossy haha), I tend to react negatively. I should stop doing that. It's just work and the point is we are both trying to achieve what is best for the business.

On the raw food front, I know I have some skin issues but have been dipping my hand into junky vegetarian choices more than once or twice a week. My excuses have been, "I had a hard day at work", "I'll just do a really intense workout tomorrow", "I need comfort food, F=== raw tonight", "I don't feel like having another veggie stick/nori roll/kale chip". All blocker-type thinking.

I love your vids Bunny!! I know you are busy but kinda miss your daily videos. Good luck with downsizing. Been through that and still going through that so may the force be with you. You will be amazed how little stuff one needs in times of shaky finances.

[Jenni]

I have definitely been a blocker in regards to my diet. One of the things I resonated with when I went to the 12 step programs was how devious and trickster like the disease would be. I'm still trying to reach down inside myself to find the part of me that wants to love myself, that wants to get well. Let me know if anyone sees her.

[Angie]

I see her every time you come on here & participate in this community & get support! We'll love you until you're able to love yourself - and then we'll keep loving you! :)

Jenni said:

I have definitely been a blocker in regards to my diet. One of the things I resonated with when I went to the 12 step programs was how devious and trickster like the disease would be. I'm still trying to reach down inside myself to find the part of me that wants to love myself, that wants to get well. Let me know if anyone sees her.

[sanziana sky]

Just saw it right now! Writing that message :)

love,
sanzi

Jenni said:

I have definitely been a blocker in regards to my diet. One of the things I resonated with when I went to the 12 step programs was how devious and trickster like the disease would be. I'm still trying to reach down inside myself to find the part of me that wants to love myself, that wants to get well. Let me know if anyone sees her.

[Sarah]

I am a total blocker. Absurdly so. I was such a caretaker as a child. To the point where I had very few friends I actually liked until I was in my twenties. Now I seem to blow off most people as people I don't like. I also have a hard time receiving. I had a guy I had met only a couple times give me a broach of all things for my birthday this year and my boyfriend and friend did not get why I was angry about it. I'd rather not receive anything because I've learned through family all the way through a three year stalker that gifts don't come for free.
I am really trying to find a healthy middle ground in this pendulum swing of no boundaries to all shut doors. This video is timely in an uncanny way. Last night at work my boyfriend came up to me before we went home and told me he was hungry. I immediately got angry and told him he couldn't eat my nuts and I didn't want to make him anything, I was tired! He looked totally abashed and felt really hurt. I felt so much like my mother, who constantly got angry when we were hungry. I told him later that I am trying really hard not to night eat as much and his hunger felt threatening to my self control and that I was obviously over identifying with his needs and wants... blocking because I couldn't have healthy boundaries. he said he had just wanted an apple.

Last night I had the most mega dream a blocker could have. I was thinking about how I should start doing The Work to help with this very thing before I went to sleep. I dreamt that I was in a house (my boyfriend and I always talk about our psyches as if they were houses...are you afraid to leave your house? Do you just pick up the front of your house where people can see? etc) Anyhow, I had some people I am close to in a room of my house. I left the room because I was feeling uncomfortable and ended up getting more and more lost in my house. In every room there were more and more doors. I started to get extremely uncomforable and knew I should get back to my friends and family, that it had been silly to run off. But the doors were so confusing and had very strong emotional emenations. Some of the doors had immense gravitational pulls and I knew only darker more isolated rooms were on the other side, but I had to use all of my energy to hold them shut and pull myself towards another door.

It meant a lot to me, because I find the more defensively I block myself and others, the more lost in myself I become. Sometimes to the point of complete irrationality and confusion, isolation and despair. When really, I own my house. And I can always ask others to leave. And I am the only one who decides who can come in. I feel that once I really own myself and take responsibility fully, I wont need to block anymore when something doesn't work for me. I can simply decline.

[chasmyn]

That is a fantastic idea about the produce, Bunny - I've been mulling that over for months in my mind and I am somehow all shy to ask when I'm actually there at the store. I KNOW the local grocery store owner's name, I know what he looks like because he is always there. I'm going to ask him next time I'm there. Overripe bananas and juicing apples - yay!

[LynnD]

I feel the same way, but I am learning how to open up; but still a little uncomfortable. Trying to slowly move outside of my comfort zone.

Connie said:

I am a blocker when it comes to receiving. It's like I think there is some sort of shame in asking for help. I have really noticed this as my sister is going through a divorce. She called and told all of us what was happening and we have all given her support, listened, offered help, called and checked on her. I found myself thinking, "where was all this support when I was getting divorced? no one was there for me. " Then I realized I never even told anyone I was getting divorced. I told them very matter of factly when it was over. I think that people expect me to be strong, when it is really my expectation of myself. I find it hard to be open, so miss out on the experience of letting others show love and support. I can't really say that I am getting better in this way because it seems very hard, and somewhat dangerous, to make oneself vulnerable.

[LynnD]

Another Ditto

Angie said:

Ditto.

Wendi Dee said:

Bunny,

I'm going to answer your question with a bit of a slanted view of blocking. ;-)

I learned to be a blocker! I was giving, giving, giving and helping everyone *all* the time and never had time left over for myself. It was like there was a huge sign over my head: "This woman has no ability to block anything...so get and take all you can from her!"

Since then, I have learned to block those who are only taking, taking, taking without ever caring about me. Guess what happened? Now I have healthy relationships and I have learned boundaries of what is/isn't healthy in relationships. My time is freed up to help those who truly appreciate all that I do. On top of that, I have time to care for myself! :-)

So, yes...I'm a blocker, but only when it's necessary for my own health and happiness.

I love you, Bunny!

Wendi
XOXOXO

[LynnD]

Another Ditto

Susan : ) said:

I usually help others all the time, but have blocked myself. That is now past....since I have gone RAW, this opened me up to great self care and now I am an opener for myself!

I can relate to Wendi Dee's response...I blocked myself out of receiving what I needed by spending all my time for others. Now I relate this way.... I decided to go RAW for myself...not for the family, friends, etc. around me...regardless of what they think, I do this for ME! I would love to help them if they want it...but only if they want it...sometimes I have wanted something even positive for someone else, more than they wanted it...I put my oxygen mask on first and then I can help others. I used to kick down doors for others, make doors if there wasn't one for others....who didn't even want my help...now I am using all my great RAW energy to empower myself because I want to grow and change!

Susan : )

Reply by Wendi Dee 29 minutes ago
Bunny,

I'm going to answer your question with a bit of a slanted view of blocking. ;-)

I learned to be a blocker! I was giving, giving, giving and helping everyone *all* the time and never had time left over for myself. It was like there was a huge sign over my head: "This woman has no ability to block anything...so get and take all you can from her!"

[Barefoot Artist]

OOOOhhhhhhhh Wendi Dee. I have been there. Done that. Gotta t-shirt. I had to become a recluse for a few years to sort that out instead of being an absolute door mat. I really gave my self away and it was so damaging to my health. But, girlfriend things have certainly changed. I had to let go of a lot of things and in letting go, I found more than I ever thought possible. So yes, I too can see both sides of the whole blocker thing. I had to learn to block certain things and people from my life. But, yes, I have blocked myself tremendously and I have mulled over every facet of that for the past few years. I just love the whole growth phase that I have been in for awhile now and I love to dissect it all too. Such a learning process & I enjoy it as well.
Wendi Dee said:

Bunny,

I'm going to answer your question with a bit of a slanted view of blocking. ;-)

I learned to be a blocker! I was giving, giving, giving and helping everyone *all* the time and never had time left over for myself. It was like there was a huge sign over my head: "This woman has no ability to block anything...so get and take all you can from her!"

Since then, I have learned to block those who are only taking, taking, taking without ever caring about me. Guess what happened? Now I have healthy relationships and I have learned boundaries of what is/isn't healthy in relationships. My time is freed up to help those who truly appreciate all that I do. On top of that, I have time to care for myself! :-)

So, yes...I'm a blocker, but only when it's necessary for my own health and happiness.

I love you, Bunny!

Wendi
XOXOXO

[doingraw]

rubyvroom said:

Hi, My name is Penni, and I must admit, I can be a blocker.

Actually, in the past, I was never a blocker. I would let people run all over me and then I would kiss their ass for doing it. They would use and abuse me emotionally and financially and I just took it and kept my mouth shut and offered even more of myself. Talk about years of pent up resentment, frustration and powerlessness. Then one day, about 6 years ago, I decided after an event that sort of broke my proverbial camel's back, that it was time to simply block the toxic, unhealthy relationships in my life and move on to higher ground in peace and love. Now if something sounds, looks, or feels wrong to me, I tend to block that energy from my life.

Oh yes, yes!!! Hands up for me too. I was what you call an non-blocker too and was trodden on like you Penni! Interestingly enough I also had an "event" (would call it like a mini breakdown) I said I would never allow toxic, nasty people into my life again and I would surround myself in environments that would allow me to be relatively stress free. Since then I have not come into contact with any of these sorts of people and I have a pretty damn good stress free life! My radar for blocking negative situations is pretty good these days.

I still don't block people that I know are genuine. I'm always the person that people come to ask directions from or the time - ha ha!

[Debi]

Great video! I think everyone is a blocker as some point in their life depending on situations. We block for protection either physically or emotionally, we block negativity like Penni and Wendi Dee said, and we block our successes sometimes because of fear. I know I've been guilty of blocking in every aspect of my life at some point or the other for the reasons I stated.


What I find now is that I'm blocking my exercise routine, don't want to do it, can't get mind around it and can't seem to get it opened up. But I keep on pushing.


I'm also blocking a career move right now and I think I figured out I thought about it a few days ago, probably around the time this video came out but I hadn't listened to it yet. I am blocking myself with a career move because of fear of success. I am afraid that if I am successful, if I reach my goal then something will happen and it will all be taken away. I also know the root of this fear, it has happened before!! I had this dream of what I wanted to be doing, where I wanted to live..... I was living the dream, then after a few years of living the dream I realized I didn't have a dream or a goal and felt like I was not being productive and needed something else. God and the universe gave me something else and it's great. But I can't seem to kick it up to the next level. I am working on clearing this block. Thanks for the subject matter and allowing me the space to speak this out loud and help to release it so that I can move forward.